This week’s extra activity asked me to review the exhibition transcript in my study guide, provide alternative lead sentences and rewrite the first few paragraphs.
A lead sentence or paragraph should contain at least four of the five Ws, being who, what, when and where (Whitaker, Ramsey & Smith 2012, p. 23).
The last W and the H should then be included in an article’s second or third paragraph at the latest.
I appreciate any feedback on my attempts.
1. While John Janssen is a world-renowned contemporary artist to most, for local Cairns’ resident Gary, he is simply his nephew.
2. While he might be a world-renowned contemporary artist to most, for Cairns’ resident Gary, John Janssen will always be his nephew.
3. For Cairns’ resident Gary, John Janssen will always be his nephew, rather than a world-renowned contemporary artist.
4. For Mary McDonald, having world-renowned Canadian artist John Janssen book an exhibition at the Cairns Art Gallery is a dream come true.
First Few Paragraphs
This week, the Cairns Art Gallery will play host to an exclusive exhibition by world-renowned Canadian artist John Janssen.
The exhibition’s curator, Mary McDonald, said the pieces on display were created during John’s recent trip to the Cairns region to visit his uncle, Gary.
Mary said: “[John] has been so inspired by the area that he has built a studio in his uncle’s garage”.
Ames, K 2016, Module 2: Identifying news, course notes, COMM11007: Media Writing, CQUniversity e-courses, http://moodle.cqu.edu.au
Ames, K 2016, Module 3: Writing news, course notes, COMM11007: Media Writing, CQUniversity e-courses, http://moodle.cqu.edu.au
Index3 2016, digital image, Cairns Regional Gallery, viewed 26 July 2016, http://www.cairnsregionalgallery.com.au
Whitaker, W R, Ramsey, J E & Smith, R D 2012, Media writing: print, broadcast, and public relations, 4th edn, Routledge, New York.